Overwhelmed is how I feel today. Maybe I was happy with my life the way it was six months ago, because the changes I thought I needed to make in my life came at me from three directions, at least, and they are sure taking a while to get used to.
I’ve blogged before about the ILEAD project at work, and my accidental involvement in an ongoing community project to encourage people to bring their family memories to the library so we can scan them into posterity. It’s a simple idea, and a good one, but getting a project like this off the ground involves leadership skills that I don’t feel capable of ever developing. I’ve certainly grown in confidence and become a valuable team member, but I will always prefer to stay in the background and let others lead. I’ll make the posters and write the press releases. I’ll take pictures and put the powerpoint together, but someone else can do the presentation, okay? We have three presentations to give in the next few weeks, to the local Kiwanis, the Rotary (in a larger town nearby), and the county genealogical association.
This is a busy month for our project, gathering the volunteers and training them, and holding our first public scanning session. We are scheduled for four days at the county fair, sitting by our poster (that I made 🙂 ), describing our project, and motivating people to get involved. That takes a kind of energy and devotion I just don’t have. For one, I only work part-time. Confession – I don’t even like genealogy. I don’t like antiques, and I really don’t like vintage anything. I will take my turn sitting in the booth alone for four hours, but I won’t really enjoy it and I will be drained when it’s over.
Overwhelming thought number two? My Etsy shop. I opened an account and was in the process of adding items to my store when I needed a little help. I was searching online for some kind of tutorial when I stumbled upon more than a few blog posts by very unhappy Etsy sellers. The more I read about Etsy, the more I decided that it really isn’t friendly to small-timers like me. What I will need to do, if I am serious about being a crafter and selling online, is to buy a domain name, not really very expensive, and link it to an Etsy store, or better yet, create my own web presence on a site like Weebly, or Handmadeology. I have no idea how to go about that. Something new to learn, and I don’t know if I can find the energy or the drive to work that much harder.
Church has also been a bit overwhelming lately. To make a long story short, we are going through a pretty major reorganization, restructuring, and re-motivation after losing over half our members over the past year for various reasons. I guess it happens, though it’s never happened to me before. David and I were tapped to help on the leadership team. That includes just what it says…more leadership. More meetings along with my previous committments to the audio/visual team. More brainstorming ideas and the responsibility for following through and being useful. For a good cause, I know, but draining nonetheless.
All this is on top of trying to keep up with the housework and outside chores like weeding. It’s not just the busy-ness, it’s the stretching of my comfort zone that is upsetting me and messing with my love of all things status quo. The hardest thing to come to terms with is that these new projects have no finish line. Even though the ILEAD project itself is scheduled to finish in October, our project will go on forever. I don’t want to be a one-shot Etsy-ish craftsperson, I love the thought of making and selling my wares online. If I could make a good income at it, I would not hesitate to quit my job, because I am actually energized by creating things. Church projects are just taking off, and the only way to slow down is to just say no to the inevitable next request.
Maybe I will feel less overwhelmed tomorrow. I am actually somewhat resistant to stress…definitely not a type A personality…so I am sure these are just growing pains, and it will all be worth it in the end.